April 2, 2024 at 7:36 am

Daughter Goes By Her Middle Name, But Her Family Doesn’t Respect It And Uses Her First Name Instead. Now Things Are Tense.

by Trisha Leigh

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels

Family names can be a source of comfort and pride.

However, they can also be a bit of an albatross – and there’s no way to know which way it’s going to go until the child you gave it to grows up a bit.

OP was named for her maternal grandmother as part of a tradition.

So I (16F) am named after my grandma Nancy, my mom’s mom.

There’s a bit of a tradition in my family to name the first grandkid of each gender after one of the grandparents of the same sex. I was the first girl.

My mom wanted to follow the tradition and dad didn’t. So I was named after mom’s mom.

She prefers her middle name and has gone by it since kindergarten.

My dad chose my middle name Skye. Ever since I was in kindergarten I have used the name Skye instead of Nancy. My family called me Nancy for years anyway.

But eventually everyone else would ask for Skye when they wanted me. My teachers called me Skye. My friends. My friends parents. Our neighbors. Our doctor. Everyone.

So my family started calling me Skye too and sometimes Nancy would slip in but I personally never used it.

My mom and grandma were the people most upset. Grandma because she felt like she didn’t get her grandchild named after her since it was never used and my mom because she wanted the tradition too.

But also, she doesn’t like Skye, and only said yes to it as my middle name because dad didn’t like Nancy and she didn’t want to be unfair.

I have toyed with the idea of changing my name when I turn 18 but it feels like that would be a whole drama.

Now that she’s an adult, her family is pressuring her to go by her given first name.

Ever since Christmas my mom, grandma and some other family members on my mom’s side have suggested I should use Nancy again.

Grandma told me it would mean a lot to her and she said I’m getting to an age where the name doesn’t seem so bad or old. My mom told me Skye isn’t really a name I should be going into my adult life using. And she said Nancy will sound so much better.

She also told me it is my name, my real name, and it would be a pain to use a name that isn’t my legal first name as an adult. Other family members said I should do it to make my grandma happy.

Or I should do it because it seems like I’m rejecting my mom, which is weird to me.

My mom and grandma sat me down last Wednesday and told me it means so much to them and pleaded with me to go by Nancy. They said I have used Skye for 11 years now and isn’t it time to grow up a little and use my real name and use the family name.

Mom told me it’s embarrassing to her because some of her friends have asked why I hate grandma or my name so bad that I use my middle name like it’s my name. I told them I don’t want to be Nancy and will not start using it instead of Skye.

OP thinks it’s her choice and has said as much, but the guilt trip is ongoing.

I told them I am Skye and that might not be easy for them but it’s what I prefer and I’m the one living with the name. I’m the person who has to introduce myself.

My dad is on my side and has tried to get mom to back off. But she has been really unhappy since Wednesday and has been a little hostile since my refusal.


Let’s see if Reddit is siding with the teenager this time around.

The top comment says it sounds like mom is creating most of the drama.

Source: Reddit/AITA

They don’t really see what the big deal is.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Your name should make you feel like you.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person thinks OP should set a firm boundary.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And this parent totally gets it.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This girl, like every person, should be called what they prefer.

To me, that should be the end of the story.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.