May 21, 2024 at 4:52 am

He Wants To Take His Daughter On A European Vacation Before She Goes To College, But His Ex-Wife Thinks He’s Spoiling Her

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: Reddit/AITA/Unsplash/@ettocl

Who on Earth would be upset that their ex was going to take their daughter on a trip to Europe after she turned 18?!?!

The woman in this story would, that’s who!

And her ex wrote a story on Reddit and wants to know if he’s a jerk for planning this epic trip.

Check out what happened!

AITA for “spoiling” my daughter by taking her on holiday?

“I (M53) split up with my ex-wife (F49) about nine years ago.

We have one 17-year-old daughter from the relationship, Tilly, who we share custody of. Due to work commitments, my ex has Tilly most of the weekdays, and I have the weekends. So my ex isn’t stuck entirely with the “boring” schooldays, she also gets the weeks when Tilly is on vacation.

While my ex got remarried a few years ago, I never did. Although I dated here and there, a combination of work commitments and just not finding the right person meant it never clicked and I’ve stayed mostly single.

He’s done well for himself.

I’ve worked my way up the career ladder as a result and I have a healthy amount of excess income, which I mostly put towards Tilly. I wouldn’t say she’s spoiled because I still try to give her a sense of responsibility around the house by helping with chores and don’t hand out pocket money unless it’s earned.

However, since I have the means to do so, I do treat her with any clothes, makeup, gadgets, and the like. It’s something I enjoy doing and she shows gratitude for it.

On the other hand, my ex is a stay at home mom and her new husband/Tilly’s stepdad has a pretty standard job. I don’t mean that disrespectfully but the income generated in the household is average at best for a similar family type. As such, Tilly rarely gets any presents from her mom/stepdad other than on birthdays or any other holidays.

He had an idea.

As Tilly’s 18th birthday is coming up, I wanted to do something very special for her, to also tie in with her leaving for college shortly. I arranged a trip to Europe for the two of us for two weeks over the summer.

As co-parenting plans have to be arranged, I phoned my ex to say this would be my plan and to sort out all the logistics. To be surprise, my ex exploded at me. She said how I was “spoiling” Tilly and was only doing this to spite her because she knew that any gift she gave by comparison would be meaningless, making me the “favourite parent”.

I told her that wasn’t true, and I just wanted to give my only daughter a present she’d love and memories to cherish.

Uh oh…

Nonetheless, this went on, and my ex called me an ******* over the situation, saying that I need to scale down my present to not spoil Tilly and put us at a “level playing field”.

I laughed and said she was being ridiculous but to avoid any argument, I offered to say this was a “joint present” from us both if she/her husband were willing to contribute. This idea was shot down because Tilly “wasn’t stupid” and knew it would be my present. I was done arguing at this point, so put down the phone.

My ex has text me since, labelling me an ******* again and requesting I rethink. I have no intention of doing so and feel I’m in the right.


Let’s see what Reddit users had to say about this.

This person said he’s NTA.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another individual agreed.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This Reddit user shared their thoughts.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another individual thinks they just need to enjoy themselves.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And this reader had a lot to say.

Source: Reddit/AITA

I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.