You never want to mess with somebody’s mother, y’all.

Chances are they’ve got at least one kid that’s willing to go to the mattresses.

The family had complicated feelings about this woman’s uncle, but she figured it didn’t have anything to do with her.

Some necessary backstory: I have a…complicated relationship with my uncle, “Jeff,” who is older than my dad.

When I was a kid I thought of him as the stereotypical “cool uncle” – played guitar, rode a motorcycle, that kind of stuff.

I always wanted to hang out with him.

As I got older I started noticing there was always some tension between him and my dad, but my dad assured me it was family drama from before I was born and not to worry about it.

Whatever the drama, Jeff never let it affect his treatment of me, so he was still cool in my book.

Also of note: he was a serial husband.

Now Jeff may have been a cool uncle, but apparently he was very, very, very bad at being a husband. As of me writing this he’s had five ex-wives.

There was no abuse or violence or anything – he was just an emotionally unavailable guy and every subsequent wife got sick of his crap and left.

When he brought his 5th wife home, she seemed cool – at first.

This story is about Wife #5. I met her for the first time at a family brunch when I was probably 14 or 15.

She had a very unusual name (important for later), so let’s call her Ophelia.

Ophelia was very sweet to me all afternoon, no red flags, nothing.

After she made this woman’s mother cry, she knew revenge had to be served.

But after my parents and I returned home, I caught my mom sitting on her bed, crying.

My dad was worried, asking her what happened, and after eavesdropping for a bit, I caught snippets of how Ophelia was cold, rude, and nasty to my mom all afternoon.

And it was only my mom that she did this to, at a table with about 8 other family members.

My mom couldn’t figure out why or what she’d done to make Ophelia treat her like that. As far as I could tell from my teenage vantage point, she’d done nothing wrong.

Ophelia was, apparently, just a jerk to her for no reason.

Now, my mom is tough as nails. She was born and grew up under a military dictatorship in a foreign country.

Point being, she doesn’t cry, so whatever it was, it must’ve been bad. I didn’t know exactly what Ophelia said, but I know one thing: you make my mom cry, you’re on my list.

So, she called her one of the ex-wives names every time she saw her.

Later that year Jeff and Ophelia came over for a summer barbecue with a bunch of our neighbors. If you’re wondering why we bothered inviting them after all that: my parents believe in forgiveness and staying close with family even through difficulties. I, however, am a petty teenage bitch at this point. I gave Jeff a welcome hug, and then as I hugged Ophelia I said (loudly), “It’s so good to see you again, Jane!”

Jane was Jeff’s Wife #1.

Ophelia looked shocked, but I guess she chalked it up to an accident or just dumb teenage memory, because she just kinda took it in stride and reminded me of her (unusual, impossible-to-forget) name. I “apologized” and the barbecue went on without another hitch.

The next year. Mother’s Day brunch with my grandma, my parents, Jeff, and Ophelia. I greet her again by calling her Hannah.

You guessed it. Wife #2.

Another summer barbecue that year. I called her Miranda. Wife #3. (Unrelated, but Miranda was my favorite of his wives.) (Yes I realize I’m making my uncle sound like Henry VIII.)

By this point I don’t know if Ophelia thought I had genuine memory issues, but it was so satisfying watching the way her face would go red and her lips would pinch every time I got her name wrong.

I would smile every time like I made an honest mistake, which I’m sure made her even more angry.

Then the family had a harder falling out and her uncle got divorced (again).

I never got around to calling her by Wife #4’s name (Jenna) because whatever old family drama happened suddenly flared up again, and Jeff and my dad stopped communicating altogether.

There was some fallout from that over the years (like Jeff and Ophelia trying to trick my dementia-addled grandma into changing her will in their favor, which was my final straw with my uncle) but otherwise I haven’t heard from them since.

And if you’re wondering if Ophelia managed to stick it out as Wife #5, you should know that I signed up for Ancestry to start making a family tree, and by pure happenstance I found Jeff and Ophelia’s divorce papers in the online records.

Good luck to Wife #6, I guess.

Reddit loves the long game, right?

Nobody makes my my cry except me.

It honestly just got funnier.

Class and sass.

We love a quick comeback.

Talk about one and done.

All’s well that ends well.

As long as you’re not the 5th wife.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.