For a mom of two little ones, nap time is sacred—and a 17-month-old skipping it is a recipe for disaster.

But when her in-laws planned a midday birthday party for the second year in a row, knowing her kids couldn’t attend, tensions erupted.

Now, she’s caught between honoring her kids’ sleep schedules and her husband’s fuming family.

AITA for not letting my kids go to their cousin’s birthday party?

I have an almost 3 year old and a 17 month old. For the first few months after my oldest born’s sleep was a big struggle for us (I guess as is the case for most people with newborns) and so I quickly became well versed on all things to do with baby sleep, including the importance of routine.

Since then I have been very strict with my kids’ sleep schedules and it’s common knowledge amongst my family and friends that I’ll often arrive to events a little late, or leave early, or sometimes not be able to attend in order to accommodate nap and bedtimes.

Nap time is THE most important time.

Unfortunately, from the get go my husband’s family have made me feel crazy for being so strict about things. They are very much of the opinion that children should fit into your life and not the other way around, which is fine but that’s not really my style.

I figure I’d rather accommodate my kids’ needs since they’re only little for such a short period of my life and later on I’ll be able to be more flexible.

Every year since my oldest was born, my brother in law and his wife have organised their kids’ birthday parties to be on a weekend around lunch time. The first year we were able to attend my nephew’s party because my oldest was still taking 2 naps a day and the party fell in his midday wake window.

Last year we weren’t able to make it because it coincided with nap time and they were very upset. My brother in law really told my husband off and even got their mother involved to try to make us change our minds.

Eventually everything blew over.

Would they really want an overtired toddler at the party?

Recently my husband was talking to his brother about our nephew’s upcoming 6th birthday and asked if they were planning something, to which my brother in law said yes but they were running behind in getting it organised.

My husband reminded him that we wouldn’t be able to make it if the party was organised around midday.

A few days later we got the invitation for this weekend and sure enough the time was 11:30am. I found this really weird because my husband had already told his brother we wouldn’t make it if it was at this time, and I figured because of this they might have booked it for earlier in the morning or later in the afternoon since they really seemed upset we couldn’t make it last year.

I spoke to my husband about it and we agreed we wouldn’t be able to go again this time. Everything was fine until he let his brother know this a few days ago, and all hell broke loose.

His brother gave him an earful and told him that he (my husband) is the man of the house so he should make me give in and take the kids even though it clashes with their nap.

Is this REALLY your business?

My husband suddenly turned on me and told me my strictness is ruining his relationship with his family and I need to be more flexible.

I told him I don’t expect anyone to plan their time around me, they can do whatever they like, but if they arrange something for a time they know we won’t be able to make it, surely they can’t get upset?

I feel like I’ve rambled on for long enough so basically, AITA?

It’s not just about the party—it’s about respecting boundaries and understanding that every parent handles things differently. If the family truly wanted them there, they might have compromised. Instead, they’re serving a slice of guilt alongside the cake.

Some people on Reddit think OP is being too strict.

But others know the nap-time struggle.

This person has the perfect comeback.

When nap schedules clash with family drama, the toddler isn’t the only one throwing a tantrum.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.