She Drank Socially On A Vacation With Her Friends, And They Say Her Drinking Led To The Friendships Cooling
by Matthew Gilligan
Do you want to know a fact of life that I learned recently?
Well, here it is: traveling with your friends when you’re in your thirties and forties is WAY different than when you’re younger.
People are crankier and more set in their ways, and that can lead to quite a few complications.
The woman you’re about to hear from asked Reddit users if she did anything wrong on a vacation with friends.
Check out what she had to say and YOU be the judge.
AITA for “ruining” my friends vacation?
“I (F38) just got back from a vacation with two of my longtime friends, “Kate” (F40) and “Mary” (F38).
I’ve known them both since university, and we’ve always been close.
The three of us had been planning this Bali trip for a few months, along with our husbands and their kids (they both have children under 5, while my husband “Jake” (M45) and I are child-free).
We agreed to split the cost of a four-bedroom villa three ways, and everything seemed fine at first.
Jake and I arrived in Bali earlier than the rest of the group because we had different flights.
Once we got to the villa, we waited to choose rooms with our friends and didn’t mind when they both chose the ones with ensuites.
Things seemed to be going just fine.
We had a great time during the trip—Jake and I did some couples activities (massages, hiking, dinners), but we also spent time with Kate and Mary and their families whenever it worked for everyone.
To be nice, I even surprised them with massages to give them a break.
The only thing that made me uncomfortable was that whenever I ordered a drink (a cocktail before dinner, or a glass of wine with meals), I’d get comments like “Oh, you’re drinking again?”
For context, I’m a social drinker and don’t drink often, but we were on vacation, and I didn’t think it was a big deal, especially since our husbands were drinking too.
I just ignored the comments so I could enjoy the trip.
On the last night, Jake and I made plans with the guys to go out, and Kate and Mary said they were staying in to pack.
Jake convinced me to join him, and since it was the last night of our vacation, I didn’t want to stay in either.
We went out and had a great time.
We got home at 1 am and I passed out straight after.
The next morning was a bit chaotic with everyone packing and checking out, but we all made it back home without issue.
We had booked business class seats back so we were separated during the flight and said quick goodbyes at the airport.
She was in for a surprise.
A week after returning home, I got a long text from Kate saying that both she and Mary wanted to reduce contact with me because I had “ruined their vacation.”
They mentioned several things, like me drinking every night, that I wasn’t acting like a “girls’ girl,” that I booked different flights, didn’t hang out with them enough, and that I was selfish for not helping with their kids.
She even said I was just focused on partying and not acting my age.
This message really hurt me.
I cried after reading it, and I honestly don’t know what to think.
I thought I was just enjoying my vacation, but clearly, they had a very different view.
I haven’t responded yet, and my husband has been asking what’s bothering me, but I don’t know what to say.
AITA for how I acted during the trip?”
Here’s what Reddit users had to say.
This person had a lot to say.
Another individual said she’s NTA.
This reader agreed.
Another person chimed in.
And this individual spoke up.
I thought vacations were a time to let loose…
Apparently not if these ladies are your friends!
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.

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