People can be so RUDE.

And they can also be pretty darn clueless!

Which is why the guy who wrote this story on Reddit wasn’t about to help out this particular friend.

Did he do anything wrong?

Read his story and see what you think.

AITA for refusing to help a friend who didn’t invite me to their wedding?

“For about 11 years now, I’ve (37M) been pretty close with [let’s call him] John (38M).

We met at a job in my mid 20s and were pretty regular company up until the pandemic, where our hanging out (including a circle of mutual friends) has taken a decline but isn’t extinct.

John and his partner [let’s call her] Jane (36F) have been together for about 8 years now, engaged for a little under 2 years, both with a child from previous relationships.

They have taken trips with their kids near-yearly, and I’ve been happy to help visit John’s (now their) home and check on things, take care of their animals, etc while they’re gone.

He’s gone above and beyond.

I’ve helped them out with other projects/tasks over the years and most recently picked up Jane from the airport returning from a work-trip and got her home this past winter during a snowstorm because my vehicle could handle it.

Generally, I have been present and helpful on top of our base friendship.

About 5 weeks ago, I find out from a mutual friend their wedding is coming up, and invites went out a while ago, everyone in our circle but me invited.

That’s not cool.

As a gay guy, I’ve experienced being iced-out of some of my straight friends’ lives and events in ways minor and pronounced, but this one has definitely been something that has had me thinking about my time and energy with people.

I decided I would take the hint and begin to distance myself.

Three days ago, John texts me asking if I am around in early-to-mid August. I say I am. John asks if I wouldn’t mind visiting like I have before to look after the animals and property.

I said “sorry, I can’t.”

Nope!

He calls to talk about it.

We run through the same conversation, polite but a bit tense, so I finally say “I just won’t be visiting your home.”

After a moment of silence, I bring up that I’m disappointed that I appear to be the only person in our group of friends not invited to his wedding.

I can’t be helping like I have before if I’m just a background friend at this point.

I wrap up the call positively and sincerely with me wishing them a good wedding and trip, and that maybe we can grab drinks soon.

Jane reaches out two days ago sending follow up texts saying John is upset about what I said and with her because she made the final calls about friend invites.

That I am taking this the wrong way, there is only so much capacity and that the others in our friend group have partners that took up space.

She adds that she hopes I’ll change my mind and help out them out because it would put John’s mind at ease.

I’m not entitled to the company of others or invitations to anybody’s events, but am I wrong for setting my own boundaries in response to theirs?

I try not to frame my friendships as transactional, but they obviously want something out of me here despite their not inviting me and then avoiding even bringing it up with me until they needed help with covering their honeymoon.”

Here’s what folks had to say on Reddit.

This person said he’s NTA.

Another individual agreed.

This Reddit user shared their thoughts.

Another reader weighed in.

And this person shared their thoughts.

He wasn’t having it!

And honestly, good for him.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.