A 30-year-old woman sets boundaries with her parents, especially when it comes to their messy marriage.

But now she’s worried that refusing to let her mom stay at her apartment may cost her the relationship with both parents.

Read on for the story.

AITA for not letting my mom crash at my apartment when my parents are having a fight

Hi Reddit, I’m scared I may lose my relationship with both parents over being an a****** here, so I’d love some outside opinions.

I (30F) live in a two bedroom apartment with one bedroom being an office.

Sometimes family or friends crash on my couch since I live near downtown and the airport.

I don’t mind visitors occasionally.

My parents (66 and 65) have been married for 35 years but have been flirting with divorce since I was 14.

They separate for a few days but always get back together.

That sounds exhausting.

A few years ago, I set a boundary to not get involved in their marital issues or hear about them.

They’ve mostly respected this.

One time, my mom stayed overnight before getting an Airbnb for a week which was awkward, but okay.

This week, my mom called me at 8 AM on a Sunday saying she needed to stay for several days because she needed to be away from my dad.

I was startled by the call (she woke me up) and wasn’t thrilled by the idea of having her stay for several days.

I had just hosted my brother for two nights, and I wasn’t sure about hosting my mom for an extended stay.

I said, “Well, you can come down for a night, and we’ll see how it goes?”

She responded, “You don’t want to be around me, I get it. I’ll get an Airbnb,” and hung up.

I tried calling back twice and texted her to let her know she could come down, but I didn’t get a response.

Classic guilt-trip: ask for a favor, then get offended when it’s not an instant yes.

Two days later, I casually asked her for her opinion on which glasses I should buy, trying to reset our conversation.

She called, surprised that I wanted her opinion on anything.

I realized she was still upset, so I suggested we talk.

She said she was “in crisis” on Sunday and that I abandoned her.

She said I should have taken her in because she would do the same for me.

I explained that she has a house, and my apartment is small.

Additionally, I’ve set the boundary of not getting involved in her marriage, and hosting her while she’s escaping my dad felt like I was getting pulled into it.

Apparently, “not getting involved” means “drop everything and take sides immediately.”

I tried to mention that as the child I shouldn’t have the burden of protecting my parent, that it should be the other way around.

She disagreed with all of this and hung up on me again.

The next day, I sent her a four-paragraph text, reiterating that I loved her and would never abandon her, but I would stand firm on my boundary.

I said that I couldn’t be her emotional crash pad.

It’s been 24 hours.

This is fine, I told her to take some time.

My brother, who lives with my parents, told me they’re going over the message together and misinterpreting each line in the worst possible way.

He’s worried they might cut me off entirely.

I understand I’m hearing this through the grapevine though.

Setting boundaries, now causing family-wide drama.

I’m oddly okay with the possibility because this relationship has been draining.

I’m close with my sister who they are no contact with.

She’s been a great support, but obviously, her perspective is biased.

I know family bonds mean caring for and supporting each other, but I’m not sure where the line is between caring for my mom and making her marriage my problem.

With family drama heating up, she’s left wondering if she’s in the wrong for standing firm.

The Reddit verdict? She isn’t.

Like, at all.

Not a single bit.

Not even a SMIDGE.

Sometimes setting boundaries means being labeled the bad guy—when you’re actually just trying to dodge the drama.

These adults are pretty bad at adulting.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.