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Being part of a wedding party is supposed to be an honor, but unreasonable financial expectations can become a dealbreaker.

One man was asked to be a groomsman for his best friend of many years, but ran into trouble when the required attire was a $500 black suit purchased new, plus sneakers. The biggest problem was that this clashed with his own unstable financial situation and turbulent career prospects.

So when he offered a reasonable compromise by wearing his own nice, already tailored black suit, the groom’s wife quickly replaced him in the wedding party with a brother-in-law.

That’s when a financial boundary turned into what feels like the potential end of a long friendship.

You’ll want to keep reading for this one.

AITA for telling my best friend I would not buy a new black suit for his wedding, when I already had one?

My best friend (M39) asked me (40M) to be a groomsman in his wedding.

The attire was a black suit with converse sneakers.

The costs began to add up quickly.

He was not supplying these things, and we had to buy all of it new. The shoes are reasonable, but the suit is around $500.

The thing is that I have a nice black suit. It is not the same exact black suit that his wife picked out.

This man hasn’t been feeling great about his job prospects lately.

I work in marketing, and the job waters have been turbulent, so I told him politely that I can’t splurge for something that expensive I won’t wear again.

He doesn’t see why he can’t just wear the perfectly good suit he already has, but the bride is totally against it.

I also said I have a suit that will work. It’s black and nice and already tailored. Well, he talked to his wife, and she was not having it. She is adamant that they match.

Now I am out of the wedding party altogether, and his brother in law is in my place.

AITA for not ponying up for the suit? I feel like this is going to be the end of our friendship.

Maybe ending the friendship is for the best.

This user doesn’t find anyone at fault.

The logistics of this don’t really make a lot of sense.

A suit isn’t worth jeopardizing your finances.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who is hurt she’s being blamed for not caring for her friend’s dogs, but no one asked her to.

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This commenter points out this is a fairly normal part of wedding culture now.

Wanting to avoid an unnecessary $500 expense during a period of financial uncertainty isn’t unreasonable, especially when a perfectly suitable alternative already exists.

It’s not like this man refused to participate out of spite or threatened to show up overdressed.

The bride’s rigid request was completely unreasonable.

Just because the couple is pulling out all the wedding stops shouldn’t mean everyone else involved should have to go into debt over it.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.