Family help can become unsustainable when one person quietly ends up carrying everyone else’s responsibilities. At 17, one young woman is waking before dawn for a two-hour commute, then spending the entire day caring for her grandmother.

With almost no sleep and no backup, she finally asks her pregnant sister to share some of the caregiving burden.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for refusing to drive my sister’s finance to his job?

So I (17-18f at the time) was driving my sister’s (21f) fiancé (22m) to his job every day because my sister was pregnant and didn’t want to drive.

His job was about an hour away and he had to be there by 5am so I’d have to get up around 3:30 to leave around 4 and by the time I’d get back was around 6-6:30am.

I did that for a couple months, and though it was rough, I still did it for her.

But then her mom needed help.

Though it got even harder when my mom started working a morning shift and she asked me to watch my grandma as well.

Feeling like I couldn’t say no, I told her I would.

So now I’m waking up at 3:30, coming home around 6-6:30, and then having to watch my grandma from 7am to 3-4pm depending on when my mom got off work.

That’s INSANE!

I did that for about a little over 2 weeks, but I was barely getting any sleep.

I’ve also always had troubles with falling asleep so there were nights where I had zero to maybe a couple hours of sleep before I had to get up.

Being extremely tired by the time I’d get home, I asked my mom if I could nap.

But because of how my grandma was, she said I couldn’t in case she did something and I needed to stop her or help her.

She just wanted some help!

(quick side note, my grandma had Alzheimers and dementia. She would sometimes do things that could put her in danger of getting hurt or injured)

So now I was barely getting any sleep and it was getting harder to be able to stay awake for my grandma.

I finally asked my sister if there was any way she could watch grandma in the mornings so I could get a couple hours of sleep, then I’d take over watching her for the rest of the time.

But because my sister’s relationship with our grandma had always been kinda rocky, she refused.

That sounds like a lot of work!

I know her and our grandma didn’t really get along, and our grandma was never really the best person.

Trust me, I had to go through years of her abuse too, so I get it.

But I was starting to get in trouble by my mom when she’d come home and I had passed out at some point in the day from exhaustion.

I was also having a hard time doing the chores she wanted me to do, and I just didn’t know what to do anymore.

She was so exhausted!

So I finally told my sister that if she wasn’t going to watch grandma in the morning, I wouldn’t drive her fiance to work anymore.

She got mad and told me I was being selfish. She then used her pregnancy as reason why she couldn’t drive.

She kept throwing stuff in my face about how horrible I was for refusing to help her when all she asked me to do was drive her fiance.

That’s really mean!

I told her that I could still drive him if she would just watch grandma in the mornings.

She refused to watch her, so I refused to drive him any longer.

For a bit after that, she never missed the opportunity to remind me how horrible I was. Or she’d make sly comments meant to make me feel bad. And it worked.

I felt horrible for doing that to my sister, especially since she was pregnant. But I just couldn’t do both things anymore.

AITA?

GEEZ! That sounds so exhausting!

Why couldn’t her sister’s fiancé drive himself to work?

Let’s find out what people on Reddit think about this situation.

This user knows that pregnant women can drive just fine!

That’s right! This user knows that the sister and her fiancé need to grow up!

This user knows that the sister is fully capable of managing both tasks.

This user knows that the mother is just as much at fault as the sister.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who gets fed up with her son not working and puts him in charge of nightly dinners.

This user has an important question for the fiancé!

She kept offering to drive her sister’s fiancé if her sister would simply cover a few morning hours with their grandmother, but that compromise was refused.

Her sister still called her selfish and kept making guilt-inducing comments, even though OP was already running on almost no sleep.

At some point, “helping family” stops being a favor and starts looking like three unpaid jobs.