Family support becomes draining when one person’s generosity quietly turns into everyone else’s standing financial plan.

How much should the oldest sibling sacrifice when relatives request money more often than they ask how she is doing?

After three requests arrived in a single day, OP finally confronted the expectation attached to her place in the family.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for telling my sister I won’t be breaking my back trying to be a big sister anymore?

I (24F) am the oldest of three. My mom, sister, and brother all regularly ask me for money.

They are just taking advantage of her.

They don’t ever ask how I’m doing, what I’m going through, or where the money even comes from—they just… ask. It’s constant.

Recently, all three of them asked me for money in the same day. I took a screenshot of my messages and sent it to my sister saying something like, “You’re all relying on me honestly.”

I was trying to make them see how much they expect from me and how exhausting it is.

Yes, she is a sister, not a provider.

Her response? “But you’re the big sister.”

That made me feel like my feelings didn’t matter and my only purpose was to financially support everyone else—like I owe them this just because of birth order.

I told her I wasn’t going to “break my back” anymore trying to be a big sister when nobody seems to care about me in return.

Wow, how can her younger sister call her selfish?

Now my sister says I’m being selfish and cold, and my mom has been quiet but I can tell she’s not happy either. I know they struggle, but so do I.

I don’t have endless money, and it hurts that they don’t even bother to ask if I’m okay before asking for something.

So, am I wrong for refusing to keep overextending myself just because I’m “the big sister”?

AITA?

Not at all, you have to cut people off eventually or they will never live within their means.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about it.

I would be so upset in this situation.

I bet she feels like an ATM.

I agree, this is enabling, not helping.

I was wondering this as well.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a group trip that sours when additional guests are added without agreement.

This commenter says to set firm boundaries.

OP showed her sister the simultaneous money requests to explain her exhaustion, only to be told that providing was simply part of being the oldest.

She refused to keep overextending herself, arguing that family concern should include her well-being rather than only access to her wallet.

Her relatives apparently upgraded “big sister” into a premium subscription plan with unlimited withdrawals and no requirement to check on the account holder.