Shutterstock

When you live in an apartment building, it is pretty common to swap phone numbers with some of the neighbors in case there is any type of emergency or anything.

What would you do if your neighbor asked to swap numbers with you, but you turned him down because it made you uncomfortable, which clearly hurt his feelings?

That is what happened to the young woman in this story, so now she is wondering if she was wrong for not swapping numbers.

Personally, I think she did nothing wrong, but it isn’t always a bad idea to swap numbers like this. Read through the full story below and see what you think she should do.

AITA For Not Wanting to Give My Number to My Neighbor

26 Y/O F who lives alone and is currently working from home because it’s 2020.

Sounds like a nice neighbor.

This morning, an acquaintance who lives in my apartment building knocked on my door and gave me his phone number in case I ever needed help, which I thought was nice of him.

I thanked him, and he left. I put the number on my counter and got back to work. A few minutes later, he came back and asked for my number.

Well, this is awkward.

I told him I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable giving out my number. He asked me why not and said he’d never call or text unless something was really wrong, and I told him I just don’t feel safe giving my phone number.

This really hurt his feelings and he asked for the piece of paper back, which I obliged. I didn’t put the number in my phone, and I already have an emergency contact with another neighbor in my building who I know a lot better.

She doesn’t think he is a bad guy.

When I handed him the number back, he left saying “I guess we’re all alone after all, right?”

He doesn’t seem like a bad guy at all. If anything, he’s probably just a harmless fellow who has a hard time picking up social cues.

He clearly wants to get to know her better, but is maybe going about it the wrong way.

It seemed like he was coming from a genuinely good place. He’s knocked on my door a couple times to check on me before, even though I’ve never indicated anything was wrong. I’m a pretty private person and have a hard time interacting with strangers sometimes.

I don’t know if it’s from bad experiences where I’ve given my number to someone, and they overstep personal boundaries (this has happened numerous times both with guys I’ve dated and from other previous acquaintances/friends who I’ve later had to cut out of my life).

She can empathize with his position.

I have a very hard time saying no to people and establishing boundaries, and I’ve regretted it before.

From his perspective, it seems like I threw his kindness right back in his face, and it kind of feels that way to be honest.

There is no obligation to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

What if he doesn’t have a lot of people he can turn to? I made a gut decision based on other people I’ve known, and probably judged him too harshly for just being a good neighbor.

Everyone I’ve met in my building is very sweet, and he doesn’t seem to have any ill intent. If I really was in the wrong, I’ll sincerely apologize and give him my number. What do you think?

AITA?

It is good that she is evaluating her actions, but if she still isn’t comfortable giving her number out, then she doesn’t have to.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

This commenter thinks that he sounds creepy.

Never Miss a Story

Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.

It is weird that he keeps checking in on her.

Listening to your gut feelings is usually smart.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who gets revenge on her neighbors after they keep using her trash bins.

Here is someone who thinks the neighbor is creepy.

This commenter says she isn’t obligated to give him her number.

There is never any obligation to swap phone numbers, so she did nothing wrong. If she thinks she was a bit harsh, then maybe she can reach out to him and try to become friends to see how that goes.

Based on his behavior, however, it would not surprise me if it didn’t go well.

Add TwistedSifter to your Google News Add us as a preferred source on Google

Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.