After Her Dad Cheated And Was About To Move Out, She Tried Being Extra Kind To Get Him To Stay — But Her Mom Felt Betrayed By It
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When her father cheated on her mother, the family was torn apart, and the mom was very angry at Dad.
The daughter, however, still loved her father and wanted him around, even though Mom kept saying how awful he is.
While the daughter in this story knows that what her dad did was terrible, she still loves him, and she is upset with Mom for constantly talking about him.
It seems to me that Mom is really handling this situation poorly, and it will only hurt their relationship in the long run. Read through the full story and see if you agree.
AITA for still being nice to my dad after he cheated and lashing out at my mom?
My (16F) dad cheated on my mom while he was abroad for work.
This would be heartbreaking.
My mom found out and confronted him when he came back acting like nothing happened. I went upstairs so I wouldn’t have to hear it, but after they finished talking I went down and she told me everything.
Apparently he denied it at first, then admitted it when she showed proof (two plane tickets. One was his and the other had another woman’s name on it). She told him to leave and go live in an apartment my grandmother pays for (she doesnt live there anymore).
Mom is dealing with this very poorly.
After that, she kept calling him stupid and disgusting. I get why she feels that way, but it made me tear up because he’s still my dad. He hasn’t really been around much growing up since he works abroad a lot, but thinking about the times we were actually a family made me cry.
When she saw me crying, she laughed and said she should be the one crying, not me. I know she’s hurting more, but I couldn’t control it and just went to my room.
What a horrible experience for this young lady.
The next day after school, my parents sat me and my brother (18m) down and we talked about everything. My dad admitted he’d been cheating for about a year (me and my mom think its probably longer, but we didn’t push it).
He said he still loves us and wants to be there as a father. Before that talk, my mom told me to ask him questions that he wouldn’t answer her because she thinks he loves me enough to answer me.
The daughter should not have to ask her father questions on behalf of her mother.
I thought about asking, but when we were actually sitting there I just couldn’t. I was literally just sitting there ugly crying and couldn’t get words out.
Seeing that, my mom said we could try again as a family as long as my dad tried, and he agreed, so him moving out got postponed.
Mom is very self-centered.
After that, she still kept talking badly about him a lot. I understand why, but hearing it over and over made me feel worse.
Eventually I snapped and told her I didn’t want to hear it anymore. She said I was being selfish and that I shouldn’t be crying when she’s the one in a worse situation. She also said she wouldn’t talk to me about anything again because I’m too sensitive and I lash out.
Children want their parents to stay together.
I think I lashed out at her because I feel more comfortable with her, but I know that doesn’t make it okay.
While my dad was still living with us, I kept trying to include him, like inviting him to watch movies or play games. I think part of me feels like if I’m nice enough he’ll stay and things won’t completely fall apart.
Mom is doing more to damage the relationship with her daughter than anything.
But now he does have to move out. He said he’ll leave once he sorts out the wifi at the apartment, and I honestly really don’t want him to go, so I’m still trying to be as kind as I can to him.
My mom keeps saying I’m taking his side while lashing out at her. I get why she feels that way, but I don’t feel like I’m choosing sides. I know what my dad did was wrong. I just still care about him and I don’t know how to stop.
AITA?
While what Dad did was wrong and inexcusable, Mom is really handling this in the worst way possible. She is going to end up driving her daughter away when she needs her most.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.
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It is sad that parents do this type of thing.
This is really horrible, and Mom isn’t letting her process it well.
This commenter says Mom is being abusive.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who is upset his parents bought his recovering sister a brand-new car but wouldn’t help him out with a used one.
She is just a kid.
This is not a healthy way to handle a difficult situation; that is for sure. While Dad is the real jerk in this story, Mom needs to stop being so self-centered.
The daughter is going through something horrible as well.
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