Her Father Left Everything to His Ex-Wife—Until She Blew Up His Finances and He Came Begging His Daughter to Save Him
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It’s hard to step in and help when someone has spent years leaving you out of the decisions.
That’s where one woman finds herself after her father asked her to take over as his power of attorney.
Years earlier, he’d chosen his ex-wife for that role and told his children she would inherit everything, so his daughter stayed out of it.
But now his health has declined, and missing insurance paperwork could cost him his place at a rehab center.
Although she’s tried to help, she lives several states away and can’t access his documents, so she’s told them to arrange the transfer rather than leave everything to her.
Read on to see why she’s worried this will do nothing but cause stress in her life.
AITA For Not Wanting To Be My Father’s POA?
A few years ago, my father sat my brother and me down and gleefully told us his ex-wife would be his POA and be left everything in his will.
At that point, my father was healthy, and so was she. My brother and I didn’t argue, but we were well aware their financial situation was precarious, to say the least.
Fast-forward a few years. My brother has died unexpectedly. I handle his estate and distribute some money to my father, who cashes the check for many thousands of dollars and keeps the money in his closet.
Now, her father’s health has declined and there are a lot of problems.
When he cries poor on the phone, he says someone stole it. The ex-wife, who also lives in the house, has gone bankrupt a couple of times. Her son also lives there and doesn’t work. I have suspicions but keep my mouth shut.
Two years later, my grandfather dies and wills us some more money. Since I’m working, I’m able to invest my share. My father and his family blow all the money on a house they can’t upkeep or afford.
They’re forced to sell it a couple of years later, and my father’s health has declined. He spends a lot of time in the hospital or in a nursing home.
She tried to help once before, but was not able to.
Now he’s in dire straits, about to get kicked out of his rehab center because his ex-wife and her son can’t get his documents together for the insurance company to renew.
I tried to help, but all the documents are at the house. I was told not to go there because the ex-wife is struggling “physically and mentally.” He can’t remember his passwords or which bank accounts are still active. Then he says they want to transfer POA to me.
I live several states away, have no access to any documents, and can’t track down the lawyer with whom his will was filed. I told him I was not happy about this. I work full-time at a demanding job, and of course, they want to wash their hands of his mess. They had no problems using his money all these years to buy houses.
Finally, she gave them an ultimatum but doesn’t think they’ll hold up to their end.
I said they need to arrange the transfer, pay the legal fees, and send the documents. Basically, I punted the whole thing to them. I doubt they’ll do any of this.
He and that woman, with a few exceptions, made my teenage years miserable. He loaned away my college money and didn’t tell me it was gone until I was a high school senior. My mother always planned for us to go to college. My brother and I did, but it was of our own doing and not with the money earmarked for us after her death.
IDK, am I shirking my daughterly duty? They’re going to use a guilt-trip tactic, and I don’t feel like dealing with it.
AITA?
Eek! Situations like this are always really hard for adult children.
Let’s see what advice the readers over at Reddit had to offer.
This person thinks they’re doing it for her money.
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According to this comment, she should avoid the mess.
Here’s someone who also thinks it would be too much from that far away.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about two kids trying to earn money by mowing grass, and decide to solve their gas issue by stealing some of dad’s.
For this person, it only requires a simple no.
She’s better off staying out of this.
They want her to take over, but won’t even give her access to the paperwork she’d need to help.
And with a demanding job several states away, she already has enough on her plate without trying to sort through years of their decisions.
The bottom line is that she can care about her father without agreeing to handle everything, and she shouldn’t let them guilt her into it.
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