Helping family members when you can is a good thing, but there is only so much you can provide, especially if they start taking advantage.

Because some people will never become financially responsible as long as they don’t have to.

This man knows it’s high time he finally set some firm boundaries with one of his brothers.

Check it out.

My parents and Dan were back sooner than I thought. And they wanted money this time

It began when my parents recently got in touch with me through social media, and asked for a meeting in a public place of my choosing.

It just screamed trap. But I wasn’t afraid.

In fact, I was amused.

Sounds like they have taken advantage of him in the past.

They know I’m not to be messed with anymore.

So, I could only wonder what they wanted this time.

I picked a local restaurant that may have a name of an olive and a garden in it, and we met up there.

Dan was with them. But he kept his mouth shut, most of the time.

We had awkward greetings, ordered some drinks, and then cut to the chase.

Why is it his responsibility to support Dan?

My parents begged me to help Dan get his own apartment so he could finally move out.

Apparently, Dan’s credit isn’t so great.

Gee, I wonder why?

Could it be his wife regularly spends him into a hole?

Well they asked that I help by either supplying some capital, or by cosigning for the apartment and helping to pay the rent for it.

I simply said no to both.

When begging for money, how can you get angry at the person?

That’s when Dan spoke up in anger and yelled at me that I have so much, and I don’t have a family to support like he does.

He needed my help, and I should be spending the money for his family since I don’t have one myself.

I laughed and asked where they were when I needed their help.

Oh, that’s right. They were pointing and laughing at me for being homeless.

Or should we go further back to my childhood.

I’d love to delve into that with plenty of ears to listen in around us.

My mother grabbed my hand and begged me not to speak of any of it.

My father and Dan both just looked away and said nothing.

Pretty sure they wanted to say something like they used to at me, but held their tongues.

I asked them if they thought I was rich or something.

And their looks said it all.

And when I told them I don’t have that kind of money, they looked at me like deer in headlights.

I broke it down about how much I’d managed to save for the down payment on my house, and the way I had to live and work in order to save that much so fast.

And then how I spent nearly all of it on the down-payment of my house.

I’m still in financial recovery.

I did have monthly income to spare, yes.

But most of it was going right into my savings.

That is some nerve to beg for money when he makes more.

I asked Dan what his yearly salary was, and when he told me, I pointed out that it was actually a bit higher than mine.

I then loosely broke things down in rough math in front of my parents on how about 70% of my income goes to my mortgage, insurance, gasoline, internet, phone, food, and other bills.

And then there’s maybe 30% of that left at most that I can put into savings.

Of course, he has to have an emergency fund.

And I need that money saved get back on my feet in time.

And I have to make sure I have savings to fall back on.

My truck is from the 90s.

If it were to break down, I’d need money to either fix or replace it.

And there’s other things one would need a rainy day fund for, like home repairs, doctors, taxes, lawyers, or anything in general you’d need quick cash for when it’s a sudden unexpected expense.

So, as you can see, I just can’t spare money for Dan.

And I also refuse to cosign for anything as that would leave me on the hook for any bill Dan couldn’t or wouldn’t pay.

Then I pointed out that, that’s likely why my parents didn’t cosign for Dan’s apartment themselves long ago.

And my mother just started crying again.

I was pretty much one step ahead of them in all of this.

I’m not an ATM, and I’m not a fool.

And I stated that right to their faces.

I expected my father to become angry with me like he always does.

Sounds like he is learning.

But this time he just, well…didn’t.

I’ve known this man to explode on me for the slightest provocation of not enabling my brother all of my life.

But this time he just didn’t do that.

There wasn’t even a sneer on his face.

The only way I could describe the look he had was regret and defeat.

Maybe regret for being a bad parent. Or maybe regret because he can’t bully me around anymore.

Who knows.

Either way my parents couldn’t really argue with me, and I wasn’t about to give them any money.

Dan just got up and said this was all just a waste of their time, and that he was leaving.

My mother started apologizing for him, but Dan still wanted to leave.

Then just to go overboard with kindness I offered to buy them a round of unlimited soup and salad while we were all there.

I guess they couldn’t turn down free food since we hadn’t ordered anything but drinks yet, and they stayed.

I went out of my way to talk about anything other than money.

Dan remained quiet, and was either eating his food or looking at his phone.

But my parents just awkwardly talked with me.

They brought up that they’ve recently joined a local Christian church.

And that they’d already been going for the last two weeks.

I said “Good for them”, and they of course started trying to advertise that they’d like me to go too.

I simply said no thanks, and they were smart enough not to push further.

When the meal was finished, Dan left a $10 on the table for the tip and walked off without saying another word to me or anyone.

My mother just excused his behavior and we all parted ways.

That was about it.

Not nearly as much drama as I though there’d be.

But this is still far better than how things used to be with my parents and brother.

As for SIL.

Of course she is complaining.

Well she’s been regularly complaining online about my parents.

She really doesn’t seem to like the fact that she’s not queen bee of their house.

And I think her toxic is finally getting to them.

Why else would they be so desperate to come crawling back to me.

SIL actually wants my parents to move into a camper like I had to do in order to make space in the house.

And she’s being told “No!” every time.

She does seem to have a following of Karen minded people like her though.

Because here and there I get messaged by someone I don’t know, that are intent on raging at me for not giving up my house for SIL.

I don’t bother to argue with these people anymore.

I just block and move on.

Though there was one persistent troll who had my phone number.

And they call from a different number every time.

Yes, it seems to be the same person who called me to say I need to make way for a real family man like Dan.

But I could care less.

The calls though, seemed to have slowed down, if not maybe stopped.

Because I made it clear to that person that they were only amusing me by keeping this up so long.

The last time they called was around the beginning of the month.

And it’s been silence from them since then.

It is hard to stop entitled family members, but well worth it in the end.

Let’s take a look at the comments and see what they have to say.

This is always a good point to make.

This person doesn’t think he should have met with them at all.

Yup, putting all the cards on the table.

Yup, why meet with people who only beg for money.

Maybe the parents are finally catching on.

It is amazing to me when people begging for help have the audacity to yell at the person they are begging from.

Entitled much?

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.