Navigating life as co-parenting adults can be tricky whether or not the two of you are on good terms. That said, once you’re divorced it can be particularly grating to realize that you still have to consider opinions – at least when it comes to your child – from a person you’d rather not have to speak to ever again.

OP is in that sort of co-parenting situation for his 14yo daughter. His ex has other children and they have 50/50 custody.

My ex and I have a 14yo daughter together. she also has 2 more kids who are 16M and 11F.

we have 50-50 custody

here is the problem

Recently, OP had told his daughter he was going to buy her a PS5 as a reward for acing a test, but her mother called and explicitly said she didn’t want her to have it. Her reasons were that she was gloating in front of her step-siblings, who didn’t have as many nice things as their daughter.

my daughter loves gaming. she has been begging her mom and I to buy her a ps5. I bought one for her a few weeks ago but I didn’t give it to her right away. I decided to wait until after an important and difficult exam that she had and give it to her as a prize for getting an A+ in that exam (which I knew she would).

a few days ago my ex called me and asked me not to buy a ps5 for my daughter as apparently she has been gloating to her siblings and making them jealous because their parents are financially struggling and they can’t have as many privileges as my daughter. my ex gave me a long lecture about how she doesn’t deserve another privilege because of her behavior. I told her I will consider it but I didn’t promise anything.

OP said he would consider what she’d said, but after their daughter got the highest score in her entire grade, he gifted her the game system anyway.

well, she got her exam results a couple of days ago and not only she got an A+, she was the only A+ in her grade.

I was extremely proud and decided that she deserves getting her new ps5 and gave it to her.

Now his ex is angry and OP is wondering whether or not he was out of line going against her wishes.

yesterday I took her to her mom’s home and a few minutes after I left my ex called screaming at me asking me why I did it when she specifically asked me not to do it. she thinks I’m a huge asshole for doing this but I think as her dad, I should be able to decided what my daughter does, or does not, deserve and my ex doesn’t have the right to tell me what to do

Does Reddit think he was? Read on to find out!

The top comment thinks they need more information before making a call.

In this situation, it is not OP’s job to make sure all is equal between children.

This person thinks OP is TA (the a$$hole) for creating unnecessary conflict at his ex’s house.

They say if the system stayed at dad’s house then all would be cool.

This comment says it’s complicated.

I do think the gift should stay at OP’s house, given that his ex specifically said she did not want it at HER house.

And the fact that he left pertinent information out of the original post is definitely an issue.