He Broke A Family Tradition By Naming His Son What He Wanted. Did He Do The Right Thing?
Naming a child is not only a task that most parents take seriously and look forward to, it’s a huge responsibility. The baby will become a child who will become an adult, and they will more likely than not navigate life with that name all the way through.
There are families who have naming traditions that they hope future generations will follow, but I suppose that reasonable people are ready to be disappointed should their children or grandchildren want to choose a name of their own.
Not so in OP’s case. She married into a family where the same first name has been used for a firstborn male in each generation.
Myself (25F) and my fiancé (27M) have a 2 month old son. We are overjoyed at being parents, but most of my in-laws are refusing to even see our baby because of a decision we made concerning his name.
My in-laws have a tradition of giving the first-born son of every generation the same name. Let’s say it’s “Peter”. This has been going on for about seven generations already, and they’re very serious about it. My fiancé’s eldest cousin was the latest person to get named Peter. Every one of his cousins has only had daughters so far, so our baby is the first son of his generation, and consequently should get the name.
Unfortunately, it’s also the same name as an uncle of hers who died tragically, and whose name her grandmother specifically asked everyone to avoid.
I have no problem with the name Peter, and would’ve been okay with naming my son that. Unfortunately, that was also the name of my uncle, who died before I was born. I won’t get into details, but it was tragic and traumatizing for my family. My father never got over losing his younger brother.
My grandmother asked the family not to name any of our future children Peter during her lifetime. My MIL and FIL knew about this promise, and at first seemed to not only be okay with us avoiding the name Peter, but also supportive of the one we chose.
OP’s in-laws claimed to understand this and were even fine with the name they chose instead, but when her grandmother passed, they assumed the deal was off.
However, my grandmother sadly passed away when I was 7 months pregnant. We traveled for her funeral. On our last days there, my in-laws called to offer me their condolences. Then my MIL asked me if I was willing to “think about the name Peter now.”
Suddenly, they were insistent that the name we chose was awful and we had to honor their tradition. According to them, they had only agreed to make an exception for us for my grandmother’s sake, and had no obligation to keep it now that she had passed.
My family agrees that while it’s true we don’t have to avoid the name anymore, it still doesn’t feel right to use it. My fiancé agrees with me as well, but his parents spent the last weeks of my pregnancy trying to convince us to change our minds about the name.
When OP and her husband went ahead and used the alternative name the in-laws were upset, and haven’t even been to visit their grandchild.
When our baby was born and we named him what we wanted, my in-laws were furious that we had broken a 7-generation-old family tradition. Some of them hadn’t previously wanted to name their sons Peter, but did it anyway for the family’s sake. They said our decision was selfish, and that my family “should have moved on by now.”
This has truly nothing to do with whether my family has moved on or not, it just felt like a betrayal to my grandmother and uncle’s memories to even consider using the name.
Even though her husband is fine with taking the stand at his wife’s side she’s starting to feel badly about the rift she’s caused in their family.
My FIL offered us $1000 to change our son’s name to Peter after he was born. That was two months ago, and neither of my fiancé’s parents have met the baby or seen us since I was pregnant. Most of my in-laws are on their side, and this is causing a huge rift between my fiancé and his family. He assures me he’s fine, but I’m starting to feel really guilty about this.
AITA?
Does Reddit think she should give in? Let’s find out!
The top comment cheekily suggests that his family are the ones who need to move on.
Image Credit: Reddit
Genetics are wild.
Image Credit: Reddit
They say peer pressure is something you should outgrow.
Image Credit: Reddit
And not wanting to meet one’s grandchild over this seems a bit weird.
Image Credit: Reddit
They’re happy the husband is supportive, though.
Image Credit: Reddit
This is a strange one.
I get them being disappointed, but not meeting the baby? Get over yourselves!
