August 22, 2023 at 5:29 pm

‘We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out.’ When Is It OK For A Mom To Prioritize Herself After She Was Treated Like A Maid By Her Family?

by Trisha Leigh

MomHasALIfe We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. When Is It OK For A Mom To Prioritize Herself After She Was Treated Like A Maid By Her Family?

Moms are the best people in the world, and if you’ve got a good one, then yours has probably dropped everything to be there for you more than once.

Should she have to, though, or should you be a grown-up and take responsibility for your own crap?

That’s the question OP is asking herself after a recent divorce. She has three children, all of whom are teenagers, and all of whom are spending a good amount of time with their father.

I got divorced a year ago, it was the best decision I ever made. I was basically a maid for the family. It was awful not to mention I was working at the same time.

Overall it been a bit rough for the kids with the youngest being 14 and the oldest being 17. They are doing well overall and we basically have a 50/50 split with custody.

It’s wonderful to have “days off” so much new free time when they are not home so I have been able to explore new hobbies.

She’s enjoying her freedom and exploring new hobbies, probably remembering what it was like to just be herself.

So I joined a models club, you build models and show them off, we met once a month to show off our creations, I love it.

One night, when she was about to head out to a hobby meeting that she loves, her oldest (17) told her he’d forgotten he’d signed up to make cupcakes and asked if she could make them.

She said no, she was going out. He left to go to a friend’s house, too.

My 17 year old messed up this week, volunteered for a bake sale didn’t tell me and forgot to make cupcakes. I was about to leave for my meeting last night and he was panicking about not having it done.

He asked me if I could do it and I told him no since I was leaving.

He was also leaving to hang out with his friend.

The next day when there were no cupcakes, he was angry with her for not having his back – and her ex agrees.

This morning cupcakes were not made since I wasn’t doing it. We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. I wasn’t putting my life on hold for a simple mistake he did.

He left for his fathers and my ex also got in an argument with me about it and called me a jerk.

Does Reddit? I think we know the answer, but let’s read through them anyway, just for fun.

The top comment says none of this was OP’s fault, nor was it her responsibility to fix it.

Screen Shot 2023 08 21 at 11.38.54 PM We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. When Is It OK For A Mom To Prioritize Herself After She Was Treated Like A Maid By Her Family?

Image Credit: Reddit

This person says the kiddo had options.

Screen Shot 2023 08 21 at 11.39.24 PM We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. When Is It OK For A Mom To Prioritize Herself After She Was Treated Like A Maid By Her Family?

Image Credit: Reddit

This commenter thinks it’s high time OP does her best to get ahead of this behavior.

Screen Shot 2023 08 21 at 11.39.44 PM We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. When Is It OK For A Mom To Prioritize Herself After She Was Treated Like A Maid By Her Family?

Image Credit: Reddit

They say it’s not about the cupcakes.

Screen Shot 2023 08 21 at 11.40.16 PM We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. When Is It OK For A Mom To Prioritize Herself After She Was Treated Like A Maid By Her Family?

Image Credit: Reddit

And this mom calls it a “low-stakes learning experience.”

Screen Shot 2023 08 21 at 11.43.29 PM We got in a huge fight about me not helping him out. When Is It OK For A Mom To Prioritize Herself After She Was Treated Like A Maid By Her Family?

Image Credit: Reddit

I have to agree.

Seems like OP should call a family meeting, stat.