December 28, 2023 at 1:50 pm

Parents Tell Daughter They Want Her To Look After Her Autistic Brother When They’re Gone, But She Tells Them Her Career Comes First

by Matthew Gilligan

Source: Reddit/AITA/Unsplash/@ohleighann

Family issues are always tough and it can be a burden if one sibling is expected to carry the load after the parents get too old or pass away.

And this story from a woman on Reddit’s “Am I the *******?” page has even more layers to it.

Check out what she had to say and see if you think she’s out of line.

AITA for saying to my parents that I won’t give up my career and look after my brother once they’ve gone?

“Last week my parents phoned me asking me to come down the Friday just gone as they want to talk to me about something important and they’d prefer to do it face to face.

I agreed and came down Friday and we talked. My parents said that they’ve been delaying doing their wills for so long and decided it’s finally time to get their affairs in order.

I have a brother who’s older than me, but he’s autistic and I don’t know if non-verbal is the right word as he can only say a few words like mom and dad and although he’s 26 it’s more like he’s a ten-year-old if that makes sense.

My parents told me they’ve got some sort of plan to go into the will and they’ve said their plan is if one of them were to pass away first then my brother will live with the lone parent part-time and a care home/assisted facility part-time to give the lone parent a break.

She was in for a shock from her parents.

Then if the lone parent passes away the plan is for my brother to come and live with me and they will set some sort of trust up so that each month whatever he is inherits goes into living costs for example if he inherited $100,000.00 (not the actual amount) a trust would have been set up and $1,000.00 comes out each month to cover his living costs.

Why I said my brother has the mind of a ten-year-old is because he can’t do anything without the help of our parents like getting him dressed, cleaned and ready and helping him with tasks and activities.

My family members take it turns at the weekend to have him so my parents can have a break to relax and recuperate.

But she had her own thoughts on the matter.

I know it’s wrong of me and I shouldn’t be but I’m not an emotional person and I’m not sympathetic as well.

I said to my parents that I’m not giving up my career to look after him and when they both die I won’t be taking him in.

My brother’s and sibling relationship is non-existent and I also don’t feel equipped to look after him I am an honest person and will say that to me he would feel like a massive burden.

I voiced my reasoning to my parents and I thought they would be more understanding I basically feel he’s better off in a place where people can actually help him and know what they’re doing.

I’m just not prepared to give up my career or anything for him. I also stated to my parents I’m more than happy to give up my half of the inheritance so the money can go on making sure he’s looked after like setting up a trust fund so if they passed away and he went into assisted living facility his bills are paid and there’s an allowance for him each month.

My parents are completely upset with me and are disappointed in me for this. I feel justified but now I’m wondering if I’ve been a total ***** and an ******* when it’s come to this.”

Check out how Reddit users responded.

This person said she’s NTA and her parents should take care of this.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Another individual has a lot of questions about this story.

Source: Reddit/AITA

One reader said her brother is going to have to be cared for by professionals.

Source: Reddit/AITA

One reader agreed wholeheartedly.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And this Reddit user said she’s NTA and talked about their own situation.

Source: Reddit/AITA

That was a pretty sad story, honestly.

Hopefully she can figure all this out with her parents in some way.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parent’s 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.