May 2, 2024 at 4:27 am

Adoptive Mother Thinks Her Daughter’s Bio Mom Should Stay Out Of The Kid’s Diet Decisions, But The Family Say She’s Being Hurtful

by Trisha Leigh

Source: Shutterstock/Reddit

Family dynamics are complicated, and even successful and happy adoptions have their pitfalls and difficult moments.

So I can only imagine that combining the two would be even tougher to navigate.

This woman adopted her niece when she was a toddler but her sister remains in her life as her “aunt.”

I adopted my 8 year old niece 5 years ago. Her parents just weren’t fit to be parents.

They are still involved in her life as her aunt and uncle.

She’s homeschooled but attends a co-cop. Her sister helps with drop offs and pickups some days.

My niece is homeschooled.

She goes to a co op 4.5 hours a day, 4 days a week.

I work 3 12 hour shifts a week so I usually need help getting her to and from co op 1-3 days a week.

My sister works nights and is available to take her.

Since it’s a bit of a drive back to the house, she usually hangs out at the co op and helps out with whatever they need.

A woman there makes pretty typical school lunch fare.

One mom at the co op makes lunches for the kids as her contribution.

She has all of their allergy/dietary info and none of the kids have complained so far.

Some examples of their lunches are turkey/ham sandwich, pb&j, mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, hot dogs, and occasionally pizza.

She also gives them sides like a cracker (goldfish, cheezits, chips, ritz, veggie straws, etc.), some kind of fruit (fruit slices, fruit cups, apple sauce), some kind of dessert (fruit snacks, cookie, brownie, etc), and a drink (usually milk or juice).

Her sister (her daughter’s bio mom) told her daughter not to eat it because it was crap and would make her fat.

My sister told my niece that she doesn’t want her eating that crap and that when she takes my niece to co op, she’ll be packing my niece a lunch.

Apparently she told my niece that carbs are bad for her and that these lunches will make her fat.

My niece came to me upset about it because she likes those lunches and that’s what everyone else eats.

I told her that my sister was wrong then sent her to play before calling my sister.

She told her sister it was none of her business and if she wouldn’t butt out, she would hire a babysitter instead.

My sister defended everything she said and I told her that if she has concerns about my nieces diet, she will need to speak to me about it, not my niece.

I also told her that I am my nieces parent, not her, and that if she feels that she has the power to make unilateral decisions regarding her health without consulting me I will get her a babysitter that can take her to co op.

Some in her family think she’s being too harsh.

A lot of my family is against me on this and says that it’s my sisters kid so she should have a say and that me getting a babysitter will be cruel to both my niece and my sister (she already stays with my neighbor during the day but my neighbor can’t take her to co op).

AITA for telling my sister she can’t make decisions about my niece?

Does Reddit? Let’s find out!

The top comment says the sister is just downright wrong.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person says there’s a reason her sister gave up her parenting rights.

Source: Reddit/AITA

They say this is 100% the adoptive mother’s decision.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Maybe they should even consider supervised visits.

Source: Reddit/AITA

And this commenter thinks there’s enough blame to go around.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Family details aside, the sister is 100% wrong.

There is no telling what kind of damage a comment like this can do to an 8yo girl.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.