When trying to co-parent with an ex, things can get really complicated really fast, especially when grandparents are involved.

What would you do if you wanted to make sure one particular grandparent was not allowed around the kids, but your ex and his parents refused to honor that demand?

That is what the mom in this story is dealing with, so she finally put her foot down and said the kids can’t go to any of the grandparents houses at all.

Let’s see how the story unfolds…

AITA For not letting my kids visit their grandparents?

My ex and I share three children, “Amy” 18, “Tom” 16 and “Ben” 15.

I now have full decision-making for our children’s religious upbringing and full custody.

Ex has visitation every other weekend.

I have been incredibly flexible and let him take them pretty much whenever he or the kids want.

On his weekend I stay with my parents and he stays in the house.

That seems very flexible.

The ONLY rule I made was the stepmother is not around them at all. Ever.

My kids are very close with their paternal grandparents.

GPs know that stepmother is not to be around them but twice when I picked them up she was there.

They had an excuse.

Excuse was that she had just popped in quickly to drop off the baby.

I asked them to let me know when they were sitting and we would plan a different day, but they said that it was a last-minute thing.

OK, fine.

They want them to come for a five day visit over Christmas break (not 24/25) and I cannot trust that this woman will not come over.

Ben still gets incredibly anxious with her (yes he is in therapy).

If they won’t honor mom’s wishes, they won’t get to see the grandkids.

My in-laws refuse to tell her that she cannot come over because they say they do not want to “be put in the middle” and that its “making them choose between their grands.”

I reached out to my ex who said that since she isn’t coming over for long he’s not stopping it.

He also said that there is nothing in the order that she cant be around and as his wife and mom of their sibling there’s no reason that she should have to “tiptoe around.”

He was incredibly dismissive, and I went nuclear on him.

I told him that I have been letting him see them whenever despite only having two weekends a month that he was married to a sociopathic zealot and that if she continued to come around I would go back to court and ask for supervised visits and a restraining order against her.

He hung up.

Then I asked the kids what they wanted.

If they are being deceptive, they can’t be trusted.

Come to find out the woman has been coming around a lot.

Amy said their grandparents asked them not to say anything to “not upset me.”

I told my daughter that as an adult she can go but that her brothers would not be.

Ben’s look of relief broke my heart.

Amy said and she felt weird when step showed up.

Tom said he’s w/ Ben

I called xMIL and told her that the children not be coming back until they chose to. I said they were welcome to come over to see them.

This is the big one. Never tell kids to lie to parents like this.

I said they were SO wrong to ask the kids to keep secrets.

They called my ex who berated me for “punishing his parents.”

Stepmom sent me a text saying I was unfair.

I think I’m right, but everyone else thinks I’m wrong. Am I?

AITA?

It sounds like there is a lot going on in this family and there may not be enough details to really help.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

I agree with this person’s comment.

Telling kids to lie to parents is not a good idea.

Here is someone who says this is a good opportunity to teach the kids about boundaries.

Yup, they have proven they can’t be trusted.

This person says she is just protecting her kids.

Her ex and his parents need consequences for their actions.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.