A bride-to-be is facing a tough decision: let her absentee father walk her down the aisle or honor her supportive younger brother.

With a rocky past and little effort from Dad, her choice seems clear—but guilt still lingers.

Read on for the story.

AITAH for not asking my dad to walk me down the aisle?

For context, my (29F) dad and mum divorced when I was 14, due to him cheating on my mum with multiple women – the last of which he’s now married to and has been for 10 years.

We had a very rocky relationship for the first few years post my parents divorce, which improved when I worked with him between the ages of 19-25.

Since then, he has moved to the other side of the country (5-6hr drive) and we see each other once or twice a year when I make the effort to drive to him (and spend money to rent an Airbnb as he won’t allow me and my fiancé to bring our dog to stay at their house).

Geez, I get why it’s been rocky.

We never speak on the phone, I receive the classic “hi how’re you” text once every 3 weeks etc etc.

I’m getting married in 2025 and have decided that I would prefer my younger brother to walk me down the aisle for a number of reasons:

• My brother and I are very close and he’s been far more consistent in my life than my dad
• My dad hasn’t once asked me anything about my wedding, how the planning is going, do I need any help or advice or financial support
• He is generally a very selfish person who doesn’t seem to consider his children in anything he does or says – I could list 101 examples of this but will spare you due to length of post!

Sounds like the obvious choice.

I know I’m entitled to do what I would like on my wedding day, however there is still part of me that for some reason doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, as I’m his only daughter and I feel like I’d be taking his only opportunity to walk his daughter down the aisle away from him.

Firstly – AITAH for not giving him the opportunity?

Secondly – I haven’t yet told him that I would like my brother to walk me down the aisle instead of him, as I truly don’t know how to do this without hurting his feelings. Any tips or advice on how to break the news?

Reddit’s verdict might help her make peace with her choice.

This person says OP’s feelings were never spared, so Dad’s don’t have to be either.

This person thinks it’s her wedding, so she makes the rules.

And this person has a great comeback if Dad has hurt feelings.

When the father of the bride doesn’t show up, why should he get the spotlight?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.