Have you ever had a friend that is seemingly saying all the right things, until you realize they’re not really showing up for you?

In this case, a woman realized she might actually be this person when her friend called her out on not being supportive while she was grieving her boyfriend.

What would you do in this situation?

Keep reading to see what happened.

AITA for “not supporting” my grieving friend

Basically, my best friend (“Maria”- 17F) recently lost her boyfriend (“Billy”- 18M) over Christmas.

They were together for over 3 years and she talked about him pretty often, although I never met him.

Maria and I have only been friends for a year or so and Billy struggled with worsening terminal illness, so he was never really fit enough to meet me.

I can tell she has been struggling. She doesn’t ask me to get the train home with her anymore so the only time we talk is when we’re in class together.

She knows how sad her friend is, but doesn’t know how to support her.

She looks miserable a lot of the time and has been drinking small bottles of coffee at college, which she never used to do (tiredness?).

Honestly, I don’t really know what to do with her at this point.

However, she walked me to my bus stop last week, but she seemed really low-energy so I asked her if she was alright.

She then told me that she has been really angry with me recently because she doesn’t feel supported.

She brought up a chat we had before Billy’s death where I apparently said I would “physically be there” in that I would take her on days out and come over, as she feels “extremely lonely right now”.

Apparently, she didn’t mean that.

To be honest, I got quite annoyed at this point because I lost my great grandma last month, so I thought she would be more understanding, especially since this is my first loss whereas Billy is not hers (her sister died a few years ago).

To be fair, she did say that her anger was “unwarranted and unfair”, which is something.

She also said that it made her feel worse when she mentioned my lack of presence over text and I responded “I’m here if you need me” because it “put the responsibility for finding support back on her when she’s already exhausted”.

Sorry about all the quotes, I can only really explain it in her words.

Their dynamic changed, for the worst.

After that, I couldn’t really look at her.

She got worried and told me to tell her how I was feeling. I said that I was annoyed, but that it wouldn’t change our friendship.

My bus arrived immediately afterwards, so we didn’t have much time to talk about it.

Now I don’t know what to do. I know I said I’d be present, but I didn’t expect Billy to die so soon, so I didn’t think I would be in this situation right now.

Wow…

I also think the grief might be clouding her judgment, so I don’t know if I should take her seriously or not.

However, I’m not in her shoes so I could be in the wrong here.

AITA?

I’ve heard my fair share of bad friend stories, but this one takes the cake.

What did Reddit think?

Same here. Crazy.

And as long as it’s not needed.

Even a child would be more empathetic.

This commenter shares their opinion.

Another reader chimes in.

Yup.

A crocodile would be as good a friend as this person.

I would never talk to this “friend” again after this.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.