Setting boundaries with family can be really difficult to do without sounding rude.

In this case, a woman had an opinion about something and told it to her mother-in-law, but it only worked to make things awkward.

Her mom needed a ride home after a doctor’s appointment involving anesthesia. Her mother-in-law kindly offered to pick the OP up after dropping her mom off, but she said that her mom already planned to rest at her house before heading home and they didn’t need her help.

Her mother-in-law felt offended, especially since she used to work as a nurse.

Was she in the wrong for declining her mother-in-law’s input?

Read the full story below.

AITA for telling my MIL I wasn’t asking for her opinion?

So, my mom asked me to drive her to a doctor’s appointment the other day.

On the way to the hospital with her, I got this text from my mother-in-law asking how I was going to get her home, and offering to give me a ride after dropping her off.

SO sweet of her, I really appreciated the offer, however my mom (a 47-year-old fully capable woman, btw) already made plans to just chill with me at my house until she feels good enough, as long as the doctor didn’t say that was dangerous.

But her MIL had opinions.

I told this to my MIL and this was her response:

“Nooooo please drive her home that is not safe. It’s not about how she feels. It’s those drugs are in your system, so she’s making a really bad decision. That’s why she’s supposed to have a ride and get home. It’s about safety.”

I tried my best to practice setting a healthy boundary here, however I do feel kinda bad because she’s literally not talked to me since.

She felt the need to be a bit assertive this time.

Normally when she says things that make me feel like she’s encroaching on my boundaries, I try to redirect instead of saying something outright like this to keep the peace.

But she’s been kind of relentless lately so I thought this was a good clear opportunity to try and talk to her a bit.

This is what I said:

“Okay, [MIL name]… I actually was not necessarily asking for advice here, we definitely are more than capable of figuring something out. I appreciate the offer very much but we’re all adults here who can make responsible decisions.

“I do understand your concern but we have everything under control :)”

Yikes.

She responds with:

“You know what [my name]? Wow I was a nurse for many years. So I was giving advice from a different avenue. But I hear you and no ride. Have a great day.”

I finally just said this, and I’ve had no response back since:

“I wasn’t meaning to be snarky or anything whatsoever. I do seem to remember a conversation we’ve had in the past where I’ve given you suggestions (similar to this situation where you’re giving me a suggestion), and you’ve told me something to the effect of ‘I’m an adult, [my name], I can figure that out myself.’

Kind of hard to get out of this one.

“I’m just asking for the same courtesy… I’m an adult, I appreciated the initial comment but I felt like you continued to push the issue farther than I was comfortable with.”

Long story short, my mom’s nurses said she got a different type of anesthesia that’s super short-term, so while they’re *technically* supposed to advise against driving for 24 hrs, they all but gave her the go ahead to go just as far as home after eating and resting a while.

She felt perfectly normal as expected and got home safe.

The MIL is definitely a… difficult personality most of the time, but we really do try our best to stay on her good side.

AITA?

Never Miss a Story

Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.

Being rude to someone who cares about your health is just so uncool. What did Reddit think?

A reader shares their thoughts.

I agree.

More food for thought.

Another reader chimes in.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend who is upset they missed out on cheap festival passes due to her pal’s indecision.

Something to consider.

Although it’s a possibility that her mom got a kind of anesthesia that made it reasonable for her to rest before going home, in my opinion it was so sweet that her mother-in-law was concerned.

It’s also understandable that there was a pattern going on in which she insisted on things a bit too much and she didn’t know how to set boundaries.

Still, she could’ve been nicer, after all, her MIL just wanted to make sure her mom was safe, especially as a former nurse.