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Different people have different feelings about the holiday season. While many people find it to be a time for celebration and joy, it can bring up hurt feelings for other people. Sometimes celebrating can feel like more trouble than it’s worth.

In this story, we hear about two sisters and their dad. One sister lives closer to their dad than the other, and the sister who lives closer seems to resent the sister who lives further away for abandoning her with all the responsibilities for her aging parents.

The real issue is the holiday season. The plan has changed due to one sister’s schedule, and now, they’re playing the blame game.

Who is at fault? Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for caring about my dad’s comfort and well-being?

I, 44F have been taking care of my elderly dad (78) since my mum died 2 years ago.

My dad lives in a town an hour drive from the city I live in.

Fortunately he is fully capable of taking care of himself at this point, but he is very lonely and basically doesn’t talk F2F to anyone except for me and my wife when we visit.

He also has been diabetic for 40 years and his health declines visibly month after month.

OP’s sister doesn’t live nearby.

I have a sister – Jamie (51F) who moved away to a remote location with her husband 5 years ago.

Her contact with dad is limited to calls and 2-3 visits a year.

It’s around 5 hour drive, but neither she nor my BIL drive long distance, so it takes a whole day to make the trip.

The holidays have changed.

When my mum was alive, she had cancer, but always made effort to host Xmas.

My wife and I visited each time either for 24th or 25th – alternating between our 2 families, while my sister stayed with BIL each time.

When my mum died – Jamie decided she will take dad for the holidays, didn’t invite me, didn’t ask if I was cool with it.

I said, fine, dad misses her, I will oblige. I drove him there and back just to make him happy.

OP is willing to help, but she has a schedule to work around.

A year ago, I asked them both what the plan was, and again drove my dad and they had their Xmas together.

This year dad wanted to visit Jamie, I said I will take him, but since I work all till 25th – I can only take him on Sunday.

My sister texted me, that she thinks dad is fully capable to commute by himself – train-train-bus-bus for 8 hours.

I responded that I really do not think that a 78year old man, with 2healthy daughters should make such solo trip, so either I drive him on Sunday, or she can come to him and make the trip with him later that week. Otherwise – I don’t think it’s safe.

Here’s what really matters.

Dad admitted that he didn’t feel up to that either.

And here’s some background – my dad lately admitted that he got lost on the cemetery he visits daily, his sugar often drops without reason and he needs help.

My sister said, that dad was a burden on her last 2 years, her husband has trouble with people around the house, so it’s best if I take dad this time.

And something broke in me – I told her she’s selfish.

OP didn’t hold back her feelings at all.

That it was her choice to move away to the middle of nowhere when mum was sick and needed help, all for no other reason than to try rural life, it was her who left me with mum dying, because she didn’t feel the need to come and say goodbye.

And now she thinks she can somehow support him remotely

She is now mad at me, keeps bothering me with e-mails of how much she had done and I don’t respect her contribution.

Here’s the current plan for the holidays.

Dad will spend holidays with me and my wife’s family, I rented a room for him, so that he can get some alone time from people and will do everything I can to make him comfortable

I feel that I have 0 support from my sister and at this point don’t even want to respond to her numerous messages.

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So AITA that I felt offended she treated our dad like a bag of potatoes and risked the sisterly “relationship” by saying harshly what I feel?

She finally told her sister how she really feels about the situation. She’s probably been holding in this frustration for a long time, and it was going to come out eventually.

But was she wrong to vent like that? Was she too harsh?

Let’s see how Reddit responded.

This person can relate.

Another person understands why she said what she said.

This person thinks OP’s sister’s suggestion was crazy.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who can’t complete her work-from-home duties because her mom’s houseguest won’t stop talking.

Another person calls the sister selfish.

She’s doing the right thing by refusing to let her dad take public transportation all day to reach her sister’s house. I don’t understand why her sister doesn’t come and pick him up. Can’t she drive or take public transportation to come get him? It seems rude to expect OP to take their dad to her house when OP isn’t even invited to stay to celebrate with them.

Her sister sounds awfully rude and selfish.

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Author

Jayne Elliott

Jayne Elliott | Contributing Writer, Life & Drama

Jayne Elliott is a contributing writer and editor for TwistedSifter specializing in human interest stories, internet culture, and family dynamics. With over 12 years of editorial experience in digital publishing, Jayne excels at analyzing complex online communities and transforming viral social debates into thoughtful, highly engaging narratives.

Rather than simply aggregating internet drama, Jayne brings a sharp, empathetic editorial eye to everyday dilemmas. She has a unique talent for unpacking the nuances of pop culture and online conflicts, providing readers with relatable, well-researched commentary.

Based in California, Jayne spends her free time outside the newsroom exploring theme parks with her family or beach-combing along the coast.

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