Her Daughter’s School Keeps Reaching Out About Overwhelm and Struggles — She Thinks It’s Not Her Problem to Fix
Shutterstock
High school can be a lot of work, especially when someone is also asked to do a lot at home.
What would you do if your daughter’s school reached out to you multiple times because she seemed to be struggling, tired, and overly stressed out?
That is what happened to the mother in this story, and rather than being concerned, she thinks that it is not her problem at all and that the school should just tell the daughter to figure it out. She wonders if that is the wrong approach, though.
To me, it couldn’t be more obvious that Mom is doing a terrible job and the daughter needs some help. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.
AITA for making my adult daughter help me around the house even though she’s in school?
My daughter is 18 years old, she attends high school; remotely 3 days a week and then in person 2 days a week.
That is a lot of work for a young lady.
On remote days, I need her help while she is home to clean the house, and every week on remote days I need her to come with me after she’s done with school to help me with my shopping, and I need her to do the dishes, laundry; and clean the bathroom and kitchen when needed.
My daughter is a very responsible girl for her age, she does what she needs to do and works hard. She’s very stressed this year with her school work, she tends to be depressed often.
It is obvious that her daughter is becoming overwhelmed.
She’s also been very angry at one of her friends who keeps asking her to hang out. However, she needs to get through it like the rest of us.
I got an email from one of her teachers over a concern or my daughter, saying she looks very tired on the days she comes into school and that her appearance is declining lately.
She is trying to be independent and do everything on her own.
I wrote back for some clarification, and she said that she doesn’t seem herself, and will be very apologetic if she misses an assignment, and that she’s willing to accept the consequences.
Apparently she gets defensive when teachers get concerned over her and she will say that she doesn’t rely on anyone for anything.
Honestly, this is very much the school’s business.
I think the school needs to mind their own business, my daughter is a grown woman and can handle things herself. Meanwhile, they think she is helpless and come to me as if I did something when she is her own person.
I’m 57 years old, I’m getting to an age where I shouldn’t be working so much, I’m getting tired. I’ve been unemployed for a little over a year, I handed over the bills and rent to my daughter when she turned 18 a week ago.
Mom really seems not to care about her daughter at all.
My daughter is more than willing to help me, her help is much appreciated. She will take her weekends to help me, she doesn’t complain because family helps each other.
I got another email along with a phone call from the principal (who has a history of being overly concerned over her) asking me if she was okay and that there’s a decline in 2 classes for her grades.
Actually, Mom is the problem.
I’m not responsible for her school work, I don’t understand why they don’t talk to her about her school progress. They look to me as if I’m the problem.
They know my daughter is a busy young woman, at 18 she has what it takes to take on responsibility and I believe they are babying her while they think I’m being too hard.
AITA?
The short answer is that yes, Mom is way out of line here. Clearly, her daughter is struggling, and Mom is only making it worse. While the school is concerned about the situation, Mom really doesn’t seem to care.
Check out what the commenters on this story have to say about it.
Some parents are just awful.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
It is so bad that this person thinks it must be fake. I hope that it is.
This person says that Mom should be working and not making the daughter do everything.
Mom is really putting her daughter in a horrible situation.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who deliberately kisses his newborn nephew while sick with a cold, going directly against the parents’ explicit wishes.
The school is doing the right thing.
It is heartbreaking that not only does the daughter have to deal with this, but that Mom thinks she is doing nothing wrong. Some people really should not be parents.
Hopefully, the daughter can get through this difficult time and escape from her abusive mother.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
