Weddings seem to really bring out the worst in people. On days that should be about love and celebration, too many folks end up angry and feeling slighted instead.

That’s certainly the case for this OP, who agreed that she and her daughter would be a part of her brother and new sister-in-laws wedding.

I (30F) have a daughter, Lily (5F). My brother, James (32M) and his wife, Brittany (26F) got married in July. I was ‘friendly’ with Brittany for before they were dating/engaged but we weren’t friends. James and I are very close though.

When James first proposed to Brittany and they started wedding planning it was made very clear to me that Lily & I would be apart of the wedding. Throughout the wedding planning process it was reiterated that Lily would be a flower girl and I would be MOH.

Sometime before the big day, the bride sat her down and said they had decided not to invite children to the ceremony, just the reception.

OP said fine and made other arrangements for her daughter.

A few weeks before the wedding Brittany came to my house to talk to me. She explained that her family had raised concerns about kids attending the wedding and Brittany/James have decided to make the ceremony child free but that Lily was more than welcome to come to the reception.

I tell her something along the lines of ‘Ok, it’s your wedding. I love my brother so I’ll do whatever he asks of me.’

When the day of the rehearsal arrived, though, and OP realized that kids were invited – just not her daughter.

They said it was because they were afraid her kid would throw a tantrum, and her brother apologized for the lie.

Fast forward to the rehearsal, we line up and everything is going as expected until Brittany’s 3 nieces (5F/7F/8F) walk in as a JR bridesmaids. I’m confused and slightly annoyed but whatever.

After James pulls me to the side and says that Brittany was worried that Lily would ‘accidently ruin the wedding with a temper tantrum’ and that’s why they lied about the wedding be child free.

I explained to James that this really pissed off and it hurt that they think that about my child but it’s fine. I had already arranged for my friend to watch Lily during the ceremony and then meet me for the reception. James said he understood my feelings and didn’t agree with Lily not being invited.

When it came time for photos at the ceremony, though, the bride wanted OP’s daughter in them so she wouldn’t look bad.

OP refused, the bride got angry, and now things are strained.

The day of the wedding Brittany asks where Lily is and why she wasn’t there while we got ready. I explain that she is with a friend and will be at the reception later. Brittany then says she’s going to call so Lily can be brought over for the pictures because people will ask why she’s missing in pictures and it will make her look bad. I told her she can call but my friend knows the situation and won’t come until I ask her to.

Brittany called James to have him ‘make me stop being a petty b*%ch’ but he said he knew the plan and didn’t see a problem with it. She then asked what they’re supposed to tell people when they look at photos and ask where Lily is. I said to tell them that she wasn’t invited since she has too many temper tantrums.

She called me a b*%ch and said I was taking things too personally. After that the wedding was awkward to say the least (there was a lot of drama within the wedding party that had nothing to do with this situation).

Was OP being petty or just doing what they asked?

James texted our family group chat with a link to the wedding photos. Now extended family has been reaching out wanting to know why Lily isn’t in any pictures and I have explained the situation.

My mom is on my side but all my aunts/uncles said that I’m a petty asshole.

So AITA?

I have a feeling OP is going to have a field day with this one!

OP clarified later that her daughter doesn’t even have a history of throwing tantrums.

This person says you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

And plenty of people thought the brother would come to regret the marriage at some point.

They want to know whether or not OP means as much to her brother and he does to her, given the circumstances.

She’s taking bridezilla to a whole new level.

Why are people like this when it comes to wedding?

I don’t know, but it’s definitely way too common!