Her In-Laws Ignored Her Mental Health Struggles And Stir Up Drama Insted, So She Skips Christmas Lunch To Protect Her Peace Of Mind
by Diana Whelan
This is a story about when your in-laws think you’re the Grinch for not attending Christmas lunch, but they’re the ones who made the holidays feel like a bad DIY project.
Between a FIL’s emotional blowouts and a MIL’s guilt trips, one woman had to choose between her sanity and a side of holiday drama.
But does prioritizing mental health over a meal make her the villain?
Let’s find out.
AITA for not attending Xmas lunch with the inlaws?
My inlaws don’t like me.
They tolerate me never made the effort to get to know me.
My husband is not close to them, I encourage him to call and see them despite their feelings about me.
FIL retired this year, he was a cabinet maker.
He did not want to retire and has been offering to come to our house to fix things.
I had been reluctant to agree, hubby convinced me, saying family help each other.
He ‘fixed’ a drawer that broke, with different sized bits of wood.
Hubby has been battling with severe depression and anxiety, I’ve encouraged him to tell his family, he hadn’t.
Sounds like FIL’s woodworking skills and emotional support both need a bit of sanding down.
I bought some cabinets that needed to be put together.
Long story, part of the cabinet was put together the wrong way which made hanging the door impossible with a screwdriver.
I said I’ll buy a drill. Hubby said FIL has one we can use, can save money etc.
My mistake was I agreed.
FIL comes over with a flat drill battery.
It’s a boiling hot day.
He says he’ll get MIL to bring drill batteries.
I say let’s just do another day, it’s hot etc.
He calls MIL, tells her what to get. She says she’s unsure where batteries are, he insists to go in the shed, etc.
When saving money costs you your sanity and a side of shed drama.
FIL says he’s going to drill through a piece of wood rather than just screw in the hinge.
I ask if that he will cause hinge to fall out, hubby was also concerned. FIL says no, explains why.
MIL calls back upset, speaks to hubby saying she does not know what she’s doing, can’t remember our address.
FIL has history of screaming at MIL for stuff like this.
I say let’s do it on weekend, it’s hot and things going wrong. Hubby tells FIL to drive home safe as he leaves.
15 mins later MIL calls hubby, screaming at him for ‘questioning FILs abilities.’
Hubby argues back. Multiple calls, FIL says he’s upset that hubby told him to drive safe and doesn’t like that my uncle made a joke last year about him never retiring.
DIY just became DY-Why?!
Hubby is distraught. Starts dry retching from stress.
They are ignoring his calls. He’s never seen them this upset.
I offer to msg, he agrees and approves what I sent.
Asked them to he kind to hubby, he’s struggling with MH and can’t cope with this. Asked them not to take their dislike for me out on hubby and be kind to him.
Said I would not be coming to Xmas as I need space and to look after myself so I can support
SIL called me, said FIL is very upset. Asked what happened, told her above.
She got angry at me about not talking about hubby’s MH and asked for me to speak to FIL as he’s upset.
I said my priority is hubby and might speak to FIL after things cool down in a few days.
Priorities, people!
SIL messaged me, accusing me of breaking family apart and keeping hubby from them. Said FIL had a right to make comments.
Hubby has had calls from InLaws, says they want to apologise. Hubby is upset with me because I don’t want to see or speak to them right now.
Hubby says I’m not to blame, FIL overreacted and says I need to forgive.
Hubby wants me to go with him for xmas lunch, I declined, saying I need space.
Navigating family drama during the holidays is a delicate balancing act, but when emotions boil over, is it wrong to step back and reset?
Reddit will have the final say.
This person says she is NTA, and Hubby needs some serious reality check.
This person thinks everyone can use a chill pill.
Same here…all the questions for her.
Choosing peace over a festive feast—self-preservation or the ultimate holiday betrayal?
You’ve got to look out for yourself if no one else is going to do it.
If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.
Categories: STORIES
Tags: · aita, christmas, father in law, in-laws, lunch, mother in law, picture, reddit, top

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