Getting married and planning a wedding can be very exciting, but it can also be very stressful.

In today’s story, one woman is so stressed out by her mother that she’s trying to completely avoid her even though they live in the same house.

She claims she doesn’t even care if her mother goes to her wedding.

Let’s find out why there’s so much tension between these two women.

AITA for not caring if my mother comes to my wedding?

Background information about the type of relationship I have with my mom: we always had a bad relationship to the point in which we don’t talk.

We live together but I always avoid her just for the sake of avoiding issues.

It has gotten to the point in which I have been distancing from my family to leave her space and not make them chose sides.

All this time I lived with my family because in our culture women live with their parents until marriage.

She’s going to have a small wedding.

Now, in 5 weeks I’m getting married to my fiancé.

He comes from a different country.

And we will have the wedding at his country.

Me personally I don’t have many friends.

And they can’t spend that much money on coming to my wedding.

So I decided to make a small dinner party with them.

For my family, I’m not close to them.

They are technically invited to the wedding but they can’t afford to come.

And I haven’t offered to pay.

I only offered to pay for my immediate family: siblings and parents.

Her mom had a request.

My mom has been insisting that I make a party here in our country.

And I don’t want to.

To make the story short, she told me she’s not coming to the wedding if I refuse to give in.

I said I’m not going to force anyone.

The discussion ended there.

It’s important for her parents to apply for visas to go to the wedding.

My parents have a different citizenship than mine (we are immigrants and our parents haven’t tried to apply for the citizenship of where we live).

They need a visa to go to my husband’s country.

I already applied for my father.

And a few days ago I made a small reminder to my mother that if she doesn’t apply now for a visa she won’t be able to come to the wedding.

Her mother really wants that dinner party.

This small reminder started the discussion all over again.

Except that it was one sided because I didn’t answer.

Anyways, my mom has called me selfish to refuse to even organize a small dinner at home.

She seems frustrated that the emotional blackmailing of not coming to the wedding didn’t work.

And now she has gone to the yelling and screaming technique.

I’ve been spending as much time as possible outside.

Her brothers are trying to talk her into giving in to their mother.

My brothers are taking her side.

They say that I’m selfish because why can’t I just agree to a small dinner at home.

But I never had a relationship with those people, so why should I host them?

They say I’m creating trouble.

But what they don’t understand (and I haven’t explained) is that the absence of my mother doesn’t affect me at all.

So it’s not a problem for me.

She’s wondering if she should give in.

I’m used to the tension and I guess having to spend so much time outside is annoying but deep down I don’t mind and I’m using this time to enjoy my city.

So I guess the question is I’m the bad person for not agreeing with having a small party for my wedding?

And I’m really a bad person for not caring?

That’s what they have told me as well.

Like “it’s your own mother and you’re her only daughter” and stuff like that.

It seems like letting her mother throw a celebratory dinner party wouldn’t be that big of a deal just to get her mother to stop pestering her about it, but I can see her side of it as well.

It’s her marriage, and it’s too bad her mother can’t back off.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This person suggests changing the location of the wedding.

Another person thinks she should get to decide what she wants.

It’s okay to be selfish when it’s your own wedding.

This person didn’t care if her mother was at her wedding either.

Another person admires her for standing up for herself.

Her mom should respect her wishes.

Imagine not wanting to be at your daughter’s wedding.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.