She’s Struggling With Her Mental Health Since Having Kids, And Her Husband’s Desire For Intimacy Is Making It Harder
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Imagine being married with kids. What would you do if your desire for intimacy wasn’t the same as your spouse’s?
In this story, one woman is in this situation. She is overwhelmed with childcare and dealing with mental health issues. Meanwhile, her husband’s desire for intimacy seems to be pushing her away.
She has tried to communicate with him about how she feels, but he doesn’t seem to understand.
Now, she’s not sure what to do.
Let’s read all about it.
AITAH for pushing my OT to change for his family.
So my OH we will call him Henry 33M and myself 31F have been together since we were 17 & 19 very loved up young couple who got together 4 years in got married had a few kiddies the works..
I’ve always suffered with mental health but as the years have gone on and my children all F have come along, I’m now suffering with my mental health dramatically more.
I have ptsd from childhood trauma, and I live everyday with anxiety and depression and I’m currently being assessed for ASD/ADHD so there’s a lot to unpack lol.
Here’s some more context about her family.
I absolutely love my girls but I’ve not had a break in 8 years. And I feel guilty for even wanting to have a break from them.
My oldest has ASD and required a lot of support, my middle is 3 going on 15 and I have a 1 year old who’s constantly attached to me.. so as you can imagine I don’t get a lot of time to myself..
OH works 5 days a week 6am -5pm and when Henry comes home of course he’s tried and can be alittle bit moody but who isn’t I mean I know I can be a cranky POS sometimes LOL.
But the issue with us isn’t his work..
Here’s the real issue…
He’s overly intimate with me. like to the point he will text me at work he will want to be intimate as soon as he comes through the door or get a sneaky one in away from peering eyes..
Which I mean a lot of you are probably thinking why are the complaining …
Since my babies my libido has gone down a lot as well as my mental health.
He puts up with a lot of my up and downs and ST as well.
She wants him to back off.
It’s the things he says in the messages and I know it’s intimate stuff but it makes me really uncomfortable and no matter how many times I tell him I don’t like it I’m uncomfortable or no he is persistent.
And if I don’t either help him have a Tommy tank or get his wicked way he becomes a jerk to me and the kids but more me.
I’ve asked him so many times to not do these things and we have even had short breaks because of it and he’s my best friend, my soul mate, the father of my children, my husband… I choose him so leaving in my opinion isn’t an option.
But how many times is enough before something drastic has to be done ?
It’s not that she doesn’t like being close to her husband.
I don’t really know what else to do.
I’ve tried to be more intimate and I love being intimate with him! But I’m not always in the mood and want to relax when I have some free time which is rare!
AITAH for asking him to stop doing all this and change to be more loving an affectionate that I will want to be intimae more and actually feel like he still loves me ?
Marriage can be tricky when kids enter the picture. Alone time as an individual and as a couple can both become very rare.
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It sounds like she’s dealing with a lot with her mental health, and her husband isn’t being entirely supportive or understanding when she tries to communicate with him.
Maybe marriage counseling would help.
Let’s see what Reddit suggests.
This person suggests couples therapy.
Another person summarizes the situation.
This person guesses that she might be burnt out.
It does sound like she’s burnt out. Being a new mom in charge of taking care of the kids all day can be draining, especially since she’s also dealing with mental health issues.
Couples counseling would probably be a good idea so they can get on the same page.
If he doesn’t listen to her, he’s going to push her away.
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