Divorce can be really hard on children. In an ideal situation, children will have a healthy relationship with both of their parents, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

In this story, one young woman feels conflicted about whether or not she’s being mean to her dad. She doesn’t feel like he’s ever really been there for her, but at the same time, she turned out okay, and he is her dad. Her aunt’s words made her feel guilty about her actions, and now, she’s not sure what to think.

Let’s read all about it.

AITA for keeping dad away?

My parents got divorced since I was very little, but they always communicated and became great friends, and even when he moved away when I was 6, my mom made sure we were still in contact.

He moved back home when I was a teen, and by then we were a bit estranged, and at this point I was pretty used to him not being in my radar.

But I have always had a close relationship with his parents and sister.

His sister is like a second mom to me, and she and my grandparents have, in a way, substituted my dad when it comes to being there for me.

Her relationship with her dad is definitely strained.

Even though my mom always strived to make me see the good things in my dad, I’m pretty aware that I’m always second to his daughters, and the life he has now, but at the same time, I’m always expected to make an effort to be considerate of him.

We recently had an issue because I borrowed something from him and just returned it.

I used it once, and I put it away and forgot about it, and I’m aware that is my mistake, I should’ve been responsible and returned the item as soon as I was done using it.

This happened over a month ago, and he hasn’t spoken to me since.

Her aunt is mad at her.

I am traveling tomorrow for work, and my aunt called to lecture me because I didn’t let my father know I’m traveling.

She told me I was wrong because I need to make an effort and have a healthy relationship with him, and that it’s my obligation to respect him and give him and his family their place in my life.

I didn’t say anything, but I’m feeling torn, and frustrated.

I feel like I am not a jerk, because even though we’ve had times when we’re closer, he never really made an active effort to actually be a dad.

She definitely doesn’t feel like her dad has been there for her.

He’s always sworn up and down that he feels terrible because he’s never been able to support me, but I just don’t feel like that’s enough??

I thankfully have never needed him to support me, my mom, even though we’ve had issues and our relationship is far from perfect, has always made a great effort to give me everything I’ve needed, and now I’m in my first job fresh out of college, and it’s been going great!

So even though I’ve never really needed his support, it’s still pretty sad to me that he’s never been a great dad, even though he seems to be for his daughters.

But she still feels guilty.

On the other hand, I feel like I’m a jerk, because my aunt is right, at the end of the day, even though I’ve lacked his presence, I turned out alright, and he is my father, so I should be able to make a bigger effort to take him into consideration and be closer to him.

I also feel like I should’ve returned the item the moment I was done using it, because I feel like I’m just realizing that I, subconsciously, have always felt like he owes me, in a way? And like that’s an example, like: “oh, I borrowed this, but I don’t care about returning it because you’ve never been there, so you owe me.”

I feel frustrated and like I’m held to a standard even though he’s never been a good father, but I also feel guilty because I’ve deliberately drifted apart from him

Wow. It’s so sad that her dad’s lack of support in her life is making her feel conflicted about whether or not she’s a bad daughter. It’s hard to want to care about a parent if the parent doesn’t seem to show they care about you.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted.

This person says it’s not her job.

Another person agrees: not her job!

The dad needs to take responsibility here.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who held up her end of a college savings bargain only to be ripped off by her scheming older sibling.

Another person has a question.

Her dad has clearly made her feel like she’s not very important to him. Her dad is the one who needs to try to repair the relationship and put forth an effort to make up for lost time. It shouldn’t be on her. She’s all grown up and living her life. If her dad wants to be a part of it, it sounds like she’s open to it if he makes an effort.

Her aunt should talk to her dad about this, not her.